A Buddhist form of meditation called “mindfulness meditation” has taken the mental health field by storm. It has produced many well-documented positive effects and has been basically touted as a panacea for…
As I researched infant bonding for my latest book, a far-reaching reality slowly dawned on me: we were created for a peace found only in love. Here’s that reality in neurological terms: A…
Emotions start wars. Although they are invisible, weightless, and volumeless, they are nonetheless very real and very powerful. To stuff them is really to engage in a futility, for they will come…
Negatively interpreting other people can create terrible frustration in a relationship. We human beings love to be known and perceived correctly. In fact, in most cases, we’re willing to let go of…
We we’re hit with a disturbing reality, our first impulse is to deny its existence. Denial is a defense mechanism to keep us from having to face painful or frightening information, an…
Human beings are social creatures, created in the image of a God of relationship. Because of this, we are innately programmed with certain social needs. We can’t deprive ourselves of these needs…
Arguably the doyenne of marriage therapy is John Gottman, the creator of what he calls the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.” These “horsemen” are four traits Gottman notices in marriages headed for…
The next deadly relationship sin is invalidation. Unlike escalation, invalidation can be quite subtle. Often it comes in the form of trying to help: “Don’t worry,” “Don’t be angry,” “Don’t cry.” Research…
Hostility levels may be a better predictor of heart disease risk than “traditional” factors such as high cholesterol, high blood pressure, smoking, and being overweight, suggests a study out of Boston University.[1]…