3 Steps that Helped Me Find Comfort in My Grief

Wherever you are or whatever you are experiencing in your grief right now, there is a never-ending source of comfort available to you. It might seem elusive right now, but it is true.  If you are in deep despair and seeing only dim hope, please continue reading.

Grief Rocks Our World

After our son died, and the chasm of grief swallowed me into its dark and lonely pit I was lost.  Emotionally, each waking day took me on a roller coaster I had not signed up for.  My body ached from head to toe.  I could not focus, and my stomach was upset most of the time.  Food did not taste good. The stability of my faith was shaken with the force of an 8.5 on the Richter scale.

Grief is not a disorder, a disease or a sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical, and spiritual necessity; it is the price you pay for love. The only cure for grief is to grieve.” Earl Grollman

As Earl Grollman has just shared, I was grieving emotionally, physically, and spiritually.  But there were a couple things I knew I needed to survive. That survival required the actions of my own choices in my grief. Possibly what I chose could support you to make some healthy grief choice.

3 Grief Actions that Comfort

  1. I needed to take care of myself so I could continue to be a mom to an adorable little girl, Dawson’s younger sister, Joanna. The one thing I could do in this area of my broken-hearted existence was to get some outdoor exercise every day.  I chose walking.  And it always helped me feel better, if even for just a few moments of my day.  Comforting? Yes!
  2. I needed to take care of my emotions that ran riotous in my soul with the capacity to disable me.  The one thing that made the difference for me was to put my pain on paper.  I called it journaling then, but now I call it Putting Your Stuff On Paper.  And it worked!  I could feel some relief for my emotional pain, questions, and fears.  Comforting? Yes!
  3. I needed to wrestle with God.  My spiritual world had toppled.  Remnants of strong beliefs I once had, lay in heaps in my mind and heart.  The one thing I knew was that God’s love was not measured by my pain or circumstances.  His love was everlasting and real even in my pain.  When I encountered His promise to heal my broken heart, (Psalms 147:3) I took him up on it.  I then began discovering that for every part of my grief journey, God already had shown up with comfort that came from Scripture!   Comforting?  Absolutely!


Choosing to Take Action

Grieving is the action we take for the grief we cannot escape.  If I can leave you with anything, please consider taking action in your grief.  Only you can grieve your loss.  No one else can do it for you.  Take care of your physical needs, attend to your emotions, and lean into a trusting relationship with the One who knows how to heal your broken heart.

You too can be supported in your grief.  You too can function, learn that pain is not your enemy, discover healthy ways to express your sorrow, anger, fear, and loneliness.  You do not need to grieve alone.  By taking a simple step, you can learn about Grief, You Have Options.  This is a brand-new online video series that guides grieving people through their loss with healthy grief options.  To see for yourself, click this link to sample 2 modules along with the accompanying handouts.  You don’t not need to grieve alone. You can be supported and learn how to grieve in a healthy way.  You can start waking up in your tomorrows with hope for healing.

©Karen Nicola 2020

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Danny Kwon JD

Danny is the executive director of Life and Health and identifies with the struggle most people have to eat and live healthy, going back to his days eating fast food and working long hours as an attorney all the way to his present trying to find ways to get his kids to eat their veggies. Those challenges inspire him to produce evidence-based media designed to help people live healthier, happier lives. Danny is also the CEO of Carbon Biotech, the makers of Black Ice charcoal patch and is an attorney licensed in California and Canada.

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